1.
I have some friends going through some things. Some big, some not so big. Can you just throw some prayers up for them? I know it’s all vague, but they aren’t my things to share. You guys are awesome and have been praying for me for a few weeks, just redirect that please!
2.
Stephen and I just had a 45 minute conversation about Hurstling #2… our thoughts and feelings about timing and all that. I don’t know how you people do it that have their kids so close together. How do you even get through pregnancy? I really don’t want your thoughts and feelings on what WE should do, but I wouldn’t mind hearing your thoughts and feelings on what YOU did and why.
3.
I hate the feeling of knowing I have to do my taxes in the next couple months. Especially since I had FOUR jobs in 2011. Two of which I was just hired as contract work so taxes weren’t taken out. Not going to be fun. I don’t even know how to do that! Should I use H&R Block or something like that?
4.
I guess it’s time for me to start planning my meals for February. My how time flies! Next week I will do a recap of how my January meal plan went. It was interesting, to say the least. Is there anything fantastic and cheap that I need to add to my menu?
January 27, 2012
Hi.
I’m still riding on my Glamazon weekend high… hoping this sticks around for a while. It was so much fun and so much delicious food.
Good stuff right there.
So remember when I didn’t blog for like two weeks? What did I do before that? What did I write about? What do I tell you today? Let’s give it a shot.
1. Last Friday night I was supposed to hang out with Debbie and Jennifer. Obviously that didn’t happen since the Glamazons decided to show up and be awesome. BUT I will be seeing them tomorrow night… for real this time. I’m very much looking forward to it.
2. I cannot believe I still haven’t seen Moneyball. I’m ashamed of myself.
3. I made a dessert from Pinterest and it was like the lady had some secret mission to not let anyone else’s end result be as good as hers. It had three layers and every single layer came out wrong. I’m not a bad cook. What’s the deal???
4. Sometimes I stop and think… Umm, I work for a company that sells flower clips and hair bows and tutus and legwarmers. WHO AM I? Then I remember that it is awesome and I love it. So I put another flower in my braid and go on with my day.
5. So we’re having an issue with Jansen. I’m open to theories. He’s recently gone into a new phase. One second he is fine, the next second he is inconsolably screaming. At first we thought it was teeth. Then my mom thought is was ears. Now Stephen and I have decided that it is either growing pains or possibly a mild lactose intolerance. We are quitting dairy for a few days to see if that helps. It’s just so weird. He screams like he’s in pain but doesn’t hold anything like it hurts. Sometimes he squirms, sometimes he wants to be held, sometimes he doesn’t want to be touched at all. He sleeps through the night without a trouble. WHAT IS IT?
Man I’m a good blogger. I bet y’all missed me something fierce.
January 26, 2012
I mean… just don’t read it today.
Today I want you to go over and read Lauren’s post about our weekend.
And then I want you to head over to Molly’s blog and read her post. That girl has a way with words, even though she doesn’t see herself as a writer. Lauren and I wrote about the story and a few inside jokes… Molly got to the heart of it. Go read it.
January 25, 2012
I suppose it would be a good day for me to spend a little time writing an update about the little Jansenator. Why? Because it has been a while. Why else? Because he’s really cute.
1. This is Jansen saying, “WHY?!?!?!” Imagine a very dramatic scene in a movie when one might fall to their knees and yell, “WHY????” That tone? That’s what we’ve taught him. It’s awesome.
2. Jansen can officially jump. Previously he bent his knees and went up on his toes, thinking he was jumping. But now he actually leaves the ground. It’s insanely cute, especially when he does it on the trampoline.
3. The trampoline: Best purchase EVER.
4. Little man can say a lot of words now, at almost 17 months he can say: mama, dad, duck (guck/kuck), dog (gawk… also sometime tah), Elmo (Melmo), all done, more, up, please, cat, jump, catch, teeth (tiss), so tall (tow taaa), happy (happy happy happy), hi, bye, knock, outside, bang, why, yogurt (gogur), moo, help, butterfly kisses (bubbie), kick, bubble, and then he has his own versions of Emmie, Pops, Nana, and Gramps.
5. I think Jansen grew 2 inches this weekend. He looks like a little kid today! And HOLY MOLY the energy he has! Once again, the trampoline is the best purchase ever. Ever.
6. Jansen is pretty much a non-cuddler, which I suppose is expected since his mama is a non-cuddler. On Saturday he was sitting on his god-mama’s lap and she was reading him books and he feel asleep. Doesn’t sound like anything special but trust me, it is. Kiddo never does that!
7. Just in case anyone momentarily forgot, my kid is cute.
January 24, 2012
And now… a story that will warm your heart. (Insert soft Lifetime movie music here.)
Once upon a time there was a girl named Chelsea. She was tall… 5’12″ish. She had four tall friends who were very very pretty. These friends were very special to Chelsea, the specialist of the special. They were deemed The Glamazons by Chelsea’s mother-in-law. They loved each other something fierce.
The remainder of this story will be told from the perspective of Chelsea. It just makes more sense that way.
Thursday night I had a bad dream. Dreams about Lucy are pretty common right now, but this was an especially painful one. I don’t work on Fridays so I was sitting in my comfy recliner, sort of in a funk, watching Drop Dead Diva on Netflix. Jansen had just gone down for a nap and I was feeling quite lazy.
There was a knock on my front door. People showing up at my house is unusual so I assumed it was a solicitor. Stephen is always telling me not to open the door if I’m home by myself and I don’t know who is on the other side. I looked out the window and couldn’t see anyone standing there. A knicker-knocker seemed a bit unlikely in the middle of the day, so I figured someone had to be out there. I looked again and saw someone pushed up against my front door. I couldn’t see a face but I could see that the person was tall, female, and blonde. (Tall blonde females aren’t typically daytime murderers so I wasn’t too scared… but I also knew that I was setting myself up to by reprimanded by my husband.) Then is occurred to me… I know a tall blonde female.
I opened the door and my best blog friend Lauren was standing there. Glamazon #1.
See here is the thing. Sometimes when you are in a situation like me, you are really emotional. Sometimes random things can trigger a meltdown. I saw Lauren and the second I hugged her, the waterworks came in full force. She came to surprise me and stay for the weekend. Isn’t that special?
We chatted and then went outside to play with Jansen for a while. As I was putting Jansen down for nap number two of the day, the doorbell rang. Are you kidding me? I ran over to the door so I could open it and make Rookie stop barking. It was Kelly. Glamazon #2.
I didn’t think it was completely ridiculous for her to show up. We live in the same city so I figured that Lauren gave her the heads up that she was coming and she decided to stop by for a bit. She said she could only stay a few hours. Again… I didn’t think anything fishy.
Eventually Kelly had to leave. Lauren and I dropped Jansen off with my dad so we could go out to dinner. I took her to a delicious Mongolian BBQ place by our house where we ate our weight in stir-fry, egg rolls, and rice. It was so nice to spend time with her… so nice to know how much she cared… so nice to talk about what’s been going on the past two weeks.
I asked her if she was interested in going out to get a drink. I figured I might as well take advantage of the fact that I was out without Jansen. “Or we could go to a liquor store and buy a bottle of wine…” So we did.
We got home and found our spots on the couch again.
Doorbell.
What the?
I opened the door and saw Molly standing there. Glamazon #3. OMG. I gave her a big hug and then Kelly popped back in the door. Oh lookie there you little liar!!! She had gone to pick Molly up from the airport. I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest!
I put Jansen down to bed (by the way, Stephen was at poker night) and we all poured ourselves a glass of wine. They told me that Lyndsey wasn’t going to make it since Saturday was her dad’s birthday. Lame. Also… lies.
There was a slight knock on the door. I looked at them and they all said, “Honestly. No idea what this one is!” I walked to the door and opened it. Lyndsey. Glamazon #4. She was technically supposed to surprise me on Saturday but she decided to surprise all of us on Friday.
Y’all, my heart was full. Bursting.
We spent the weekend developing new inside jokes, eating Kelly’s delicious homemade risotto, painting our nails, listening to 90′s music, and talking until the wee hours of the morning. Having these girls rally around me right now was something I will never EVER forget. This is what best friends are for. Times like these. Times when life gets tough and you can’t really figure out your next step, your friends show up on your doorstep and make you laugh for 48 hours to remind you how joyful life can be.
Thanks ladies. I love you to itty bitty pieces.
Now let’s all decide who we’re going to surprise next weekend!
You can probably read more about our weekend on Molly or Lauren‘s blog. I assume they are writing about it too.
Also, Ten on Tuesday will resume NEXT WEEK.
January 23, 2012
Yesterday marked two weeks. The first week I cried constantly… but the second week was different. I haven’t cried in several days. Now I know that you don’t have to cry to grieve, but I also know that I am a normal female and crying is just part of life. I sort of wondered what was going on.
It hit me yesterday as I was having a conversation with one of my coworkers. I was talking about how she was the most incredible chiropractor and used all these new techniques in her work. I noticed I was saying things like, “She knows how to treat muscles, not just bones” and “She keeps my migraines away” and “She is an awesome tennis player.”
Denial.
I think she’s coming back. I think she’s going to text me soon and say, “Hey, it’s been too long since I’ve treated you. You need to come in before your migraines come back, missy!” I think we’re going to go out to dinner with Debbie and Jennifer. I think she’s going to get engaged and be the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen. I really think these things.
Last night I reread Lauren’s post and my post about her. I needed that. It was a nice dose of reality. She’s not coming back and I’m not going to get to see her until it’s my time to go see Jesus. How do I remember this?
Rhetorical.
I’m going to come back to my blog next week. I miss y’all. For now, I’m leaving you with the most gorgeous photo I’ve ever seen.
(Not trying to break any copyright laws… I know this is from a professional photographer but I don’t know who so I can’t cite her. Dear Photographer, I’m sorry I’m posting this photo on my blog without permission… only I’m not really sorry… This photo is too amazing to keep to myself. This has to be your best work.)
January 20, 2012
I promise we’ll get back to Ten on Tuesday next week. I’m slowly crawling out of my hole… and doing my best to not feel guilty about it. I didn’t foresee this portion of the grief process. I suppose at some point I won’t feel like I’m betraying Lucy by being happy. In my head I obviously know that she wouldn’t want all of us to live our lives in sorrow for her, but I can’t help it.
I spent a good portion of my day on Saturday drying out the flowers the were on Lucy’s casket. Talk about surreal. That’s just not something that a 27 year old should have to do. Next weekend will be spent making a shadow box for her boyfriend with the dried flowers. (No pressure…)
Anyways, thanks for your continued prayers, emails, etc. Thanks for not giving me a hard time about being MIA but also, thanks for continuing to show up around here so I know you’re still thinking of me.
January 17, 2012
This is going to seem like an odd post, but it makes sense. There are tons of people googling things about Lucy, searching for answers and information. I want to be sure that the people she has touched have an opportunity to learn about her and make it to her funeral. I can tell that people are trying to find information by the things showing up in my stats.
To my knowledge, there has been no obituary. There are several people sending out updates but not everyone has access to those. In order for them to find this blog without searching through a million pages on google, I am going to type some search terms in here.
Below are the funeral details for Dr. Lucy Kenyon, chiropractor located in Clear Lake a suburb of Houston, Texas. Lucy passed away on January 5, 2012 from short battle with colon cancer.
Lucy’s service will be held on Thursday January 12 at 2pm at Gloria Dei Lutheran Church, 18220 Upper Bay Rd, Nassau Bay, Houston, Texas 77058.
ALL ARE WELCOME.
Due to the large number of people expected, we request that donations be made in lieu of flowers. We will set up a memorial/scholarship fund in the near future with an appropriate institution. There will be a place for donations at the church, or they can be mailed, payable to Mike and Annette Kenyon. (Ask me for address details.)
Thank you and hope to see you Thursday to give Lucy a wonderful blessing.
January 10, 2012
Friends, thank you for all of your words on my last post. I can’t even express how much they mean to me. I’ve read them and re-read them. There is so much comfort knowing that I have so many people praying for me and her family. And to all of you who knew her and left comments, thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
It’s been a rough few days. Really rough. I have no doubt that your prayers have helped though.
I may be spotty for a while… or I may not. I’m not going to abandon my blog. I love it and Lucy would be very angry at me if I dropped something I love just because I miss her. But I can’t promise any butterflies or roses. And there will be no Ten on Tuesday tomorrow.
On a happier note, happy birthday to my wonderful husband. I have loved him for a long long time, but he’s been unbelievably amazing the past 3-4 weeks. He listens, hugs me, holds me, and deals with my shaky moods. When I met Stephen, I could never have imagined that I would need his strength to help me through something like this, but I am so thankful to have him in my life.
I loves you, Stephen.
January 9, 2012
I honestly thought it would take me a long time to write this post, but it’s the middle of the night and I can’t sleep. This needs to be written. There will probably be more words throughout the next days, weeks, and months… but this is what’s on my mind tonight. If you don’t know who Lucy is, just search her name on my blog. I’ve written about her a million times.
We were inseparable in high school the way high school girls are. She moved to Houston at the beginning of our sophomore year and Lucy and I weren’t really given a choice in the matter. We were going to be friends. She moved into a house a few blocks away and my family was the only one she knew. Not because of any special reason other than the fact that my mom worked at our high school and had given her family the tour of the school when they were visiting.
For the first month or two we carpooled with our parents. I was instructed by my mom to be nice to her and help her meet people. I always hated that. My mom met every single new student, there was no way I could be responsible for all of their social lives. But Lucy was different. Lucy and I clicked. Instantly. We saw each other all the time, wrote notes, spent the night at each other’s houses, and told each other everything. In November of that year I turned 16 and got a blue Mustang. I’d pick her up for school and we’d think we were so cool. Then she turned 16 in December and got a red Mustang. Her’s was newer but mine had a spoiler, so we were even.
For two years she was the most important person in my life, and vice versa. Of course she always had her best friend from childhood, Katie, but there was never any jealousy. Lucy was better than that. She made everyone feel special.
Then through a series of things that are only important to high school girls, we put up a wall between us. There was never a really big fight… really big fights can be resolved. There was a deeper issue that caused the rift. We quit speaking the summer before our senior year in high school. I didn’t care too much at the time, honestly. Yeah it hurt, she was my best friend. But we both had our opinions and we didn’t even try to talk it out.
Throughout college I thought about her all the time. But how do you mend a friendship that was so far gone? How to you make up when there never really was a fight to begin with? How do you SUCK UP YOUR DAMN PRIDE AND JUST GET OVER IT? We aren’t good at that, my family. We hold onto things. It’s our biggest flaw.
So we didn’t speak a word throughout college. Four years, no words. Plus senior year in high school. No words. I graduated from college and married Stephen. Still no words. To date, my biggest regret in life is not having Lucy at my wedding.
Through the grapevine I heard that she was back in Houston going to chiropractic school. I missed her. I missed her a lot. But I had no clue how to reach out. I knew she’d take me back. There was never a mean bone in her body, so that was never the question. It was just a matter of making the move. So one day I logged into Facebook and found her. I sent her a message that said, “I just want you to know that it has been 6 years and I am still addicted to Chapstick. I hope you are too since you’re the one that started my bad habit!”
And that was it. The friendship started back up. Slowly at first, then Ike hit and we saw her more often. Then she needed school credits so she started treating me and I saw her even more. Then I got pregnant and she treated me a couple times a week.
We never discussed the black years. We never pointed any fingers. (Though I’m sure I’m the one to blame, she never mentioned it.) I don’t think it was ever necessary. We both knew that we regretted our decisions from the past and we both knew how much we loved each other. That was all that was important. Sorry was implied. Sorry was felt.
I got the initial news from her boyfriend about 8 weeks ago. She’d gone to England for her grandmother’s funeral (the same grandmother that bought me socks in high school because “Americans don’t know how to make good socks”) and had gone to the ER with serious stomach pains. She’d mentioned these pains off and on for a while but kept thinking they were ovarian cysts. They weren’t. The doctors in England found absesses on her bowels from a tear. They drained them and thought she’d heal.
Long, sad story short, she didn’t heal. She came back to America 4 weeks ago and felt better for about 2 days. Then the vomiting started again so she went back to the hospital. It was at that point that they ran scans and did biopsies. I saw her the day before she got the cancer diagnosis and it was heartbreaking. She was my strong friend. My healthy friend. The one who yelled at everyone about taking their vitamins and eating well. She worked out, she healed people, she played tennis. She weighed 90 pounds. I left that night with a terrible feeling in my gut.
I got the call from her that Friday. Three weeks ago. They found cancer cells in the liver, before the full biopsy results were even in. I stayed strong on the phone, told her I loved her, and sobbed the rest of the night. That was the last time I heard her voice. The next few weeks were a roller coaster. I got updates via text from her and her boyfriend. Some days I would feel optimistic, other days I cried myself to sleep. The cancer was in her colon and moved to her liver. The tumor was large and aggressive. She was going to start chemo after she recovered from the surgery she had on her colon to assess the tumor. She never got that chance.
Lucy passed away on Thursday, January 5th with her family by her side.
When someone dies, a million cliches are spoken. People talk about God’s plan, she’s looking down on you, she’s in a better place, one day it’ll make sense, she was the greatest person I’ve ever known, etc. Sure, I don’t understand all of it and I probably never will. Obviously I know she’s in a better place and I’m thankful she’s no longer in pain… I don’t mourn for her, she gets to be with Jesus. I mourn me. I mourn her parents, her brothers, her boyfriend. I mourn my son who will never remember her and my future kids who will never meet her. I mourn the life I had with her. I wonder why it was cut so short, yes, but not a second has gone by that I haven’t known Lucy’s purpose in my life.
She was here to teach me selfless love. And more importantly, she was here to teach me forgiveness. First hand forgiveness. Chelsea, you were a stubborn punk high school girl and you hurt my feelings for not fighting for my friendship, but I’ll absolutely be your friend now and never EVER remind you of how sad you made me… instead, I will love you.
A couple months ago I had this conversation with my best friend Lyndsey. Lucy is the epitome of a selfless friend. I was a fool to have kept her out of my life for 5 years. Even before she was sick, I mourned that missing time with her. Even before I needed to reflect on what an amazing person she was, I knew.
Don’t waste a minute, friends. Yes life gets crazy, yes people have their differences, yes excuses excuses excuses. If someone is important to you, keep them a priority. If someone was important to you at one point, take a step back and revisit that relationship. Maybe God hasn’t put someone in your life to teach you those lessons. Can I offer my story to you? You can learn from it just the same.
I have no neat bow to tie the post up with. The bow in hand is dark and ugly. This is only the beginning of my mourning process and I dread the future pain. I manage to pull myself together, sometimes for a full 30 minutes, and then it hits me like a ton of bricks and I hurt so badly again. Thank you for all of your kind words. Please keep all of us in your prayers, we are aching for our friend.
January 6, 2012
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