I feel like all I ever do here is post pictures of Jansen or tell you bad news. I’m one of those super awesome bloggers. You’re welcome.
I have a long bit of information to pass along. Read if you want, don’t if you don’t.
I’ll preface this post with EVERYTHING IS OKAY, I think.
Rewind back to before I got my tonsils out. I did it partially because they were practically rotting my teeth out, but also because I was getting these terrible shooting pains in my throat/ear/neck area. My ENT told me that he’s never heard of my condition causing that much pain and he didn’t think the tonsillectomy would fix it. I didn’t believe him or even care if he was right. I wanted them out and thought it was worth a shot. When you’re in that much pain on a daily basis, you’ll try anything.
My throat has been hurting when I yawn ever since my surgery. I figured it was normal (it is) so I didn’t worry. But Tuesday it was hurting more. I started feeling the back of my mouth with my tongue and felt a lump. That was where the pain was. Every time I yawned or touched that spot, it hurts. Not okay.
On top of that, all of the shooting pains are back. I started getting them about 3-4 weeks ago, slowly at first. But now it’s back to how it used to be. Terrible awful pain and I have to take Advil or Tylenol to manage.
So Tuesday night I started freaking out. Lump plus pain… I was pretty sure I had cancer. And since the pain of cancer is still VERY fresh, I panicked.
I called my ENT yesterday morning and set up an appointment for Friday morning. But I couldn’t focus at work. And like an IDIOT I googled my symptoms and the ENTIRE first page was throat cancer. I googled it at work. DON’T EVER DO THAT. I was on the verge of tears all day. I texted Stephen and told him I was having a panic attack and he told me to call and change my appointment. I made him do it because speaking makes me cry. You know what I mean? When you’re very emotional and just barely holding it together? And then all you have to do is speak and the tears come spewing out?
My appointment got moved to 3:45 yesterday. The ENT said that the lump is scar tissue and nothing to worry about. No clue as to why it hurts or why it JUST started hurting. But the only thing to do is operate so we are just waiting it out. And then he said that he figured the tonsillectomy wasn’t going to fix my throbbing shooting pain. SHUT YOUR FACE. And he said, “So really I don’t have a solution. Everything looks normal, nothing feels swollen or abnormal. I think you just need to wait it out.”
And I started sobbing.
I told him that I respect his opinion but I’ve been waiting this out for 7 years and a couple more months is NOT going to fix this. I cannot live with this pain forever and I will not pop pills every day. I need him to come up with the next step. So he said that buy levitra soft I should see another doctor, a specialist. He gave me the number for the head ENT at The University of Texas Medical Center and said that the doctors in that practice see more weird things and they might know what step to take next. So we talked more and then I cried again. I told him I was just SO frustrated and I don’t understand. I SAW the infection on my tonsil after my surgery so I was so convinced that it was going to help.
I talked about my symptoms more and he said he has one other theory and I have to go to a neurologist. Glossopharyngeal Neuralgia. You can google if you want but here is a clip:
“A condition in which there are repeated episodes of severe pain in the tongue, throat, ear, and tonsils, which can last from a few seconds to a few minutes. Glossopharyngeal neuralgia is believed to be caused by irritation of the ninth cranial nerve, called the glossopharyngeal nerve.”
That pretty much sounds EXACTLY like my condition. I’m going to call both doctors today and set up appointments. My gut tells me it is the nerve thing. The question is WHY? Is it just a blood vessel thing? Is there no reason? Is there a tumor or growth pushing on that nerve?
For now, we aren’t freaking out. I did QUITE A LOT of freaking out yesterday. Since my ENT didn’t feel a growth and nothing looked abnormal, I’m going to not freak out. Well, as much as I can. Every since Lucy died, I have abnormal levels of anxiety so it is often hard to think about things rationally.
Of course I will post updates as I know anything. But in the meantime, can you just add this to your prayer list? Not just for the condition but for my nerves. THANKS!
PS- HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY PARENTS!! YAYYYYYYYYYY!