I went to the neurologist yesterday to go the reading from my scan. I went into the appointment with the mentality that if there was absolutely nothing on my scan, I was going to go crazy. Probably cry, maybe scream. I needed answers.
He came into the room smiling, “Well it’s all good news for you on these scans! No tumors or masses, everything is clear!”
“Completely clear? Like… you found nothing at all?”
“No. Nothing. But that’s a good thing. If we saw anything, that would be a bad thing.”
So we went on to talk about how he is sticking with the diagnosis even though there is no visual proof. At this point, the only way to get proof of the likely little artery wrapped around my ninth cranial nerve would be to cut my skull open. We both agree that route would be a tad extreme.
I didn’t cry or scream. I only said, “Listen, if there is no proof, I need you to tell me why you know that’s what this is. Convince me!” And he did.
I’m only slightly frustrated. Mostly I’m relieved. After losing a friend to cancer, it no longer seems too far-fetched that you yourself may also have cancer. So I am thankful for that. I’m thankful that he is absolutely positive that I have a glossopharyngeal neuralgia and he didn’t leave me with any well-it-could-be-this’s or it’s-possibly-that’s.
I’m resting in the knowledge that this is what I have and it is not killing me. It is hurting me, but only during the episodes, not long-term.
I’m going to stay off preventative meds for as long as possible. They are anti-seizure drugs and I hear they have lots of side effects. Plus, I don’t really like the idea of being on drugs forever. I’ll put it off until it gets worse. In the meantime, I’ll be praying that it doesn’t ever get worse.
So yay for no brain cancer! High fives all around! Whoo hoo!